“If You Give Them the Stars and the Moon, They Will Only Give You Space”: Understanding the Value of Effort in Relationships
“If You Give Them the Stars and the Moon, They Will Only Give You Space”: Understanding the Value of Effort in Relationships
Have you ever found yourself giving everything to someone—your time, love, energy, and resources—only to feel like they took it for granted? The saying, “If you give them the stars and the moon, they will only give you space,” perfectly describes this feeling. You give your all, sacrificing for someone’s happiness, yet sometimes, it feels like all they give in return is distance. It’s a frustrating and painful realization, but it’s a reminder of a fundamental truth: things given freely are often less valued than those earned through effort.
It’s not that they’re a bad person, and it’s certainly not that you’re wrong for giving generously. The reality is that people often fail to fully appreciate what they didn’t work for. When something comes easily, it’s easy to overlook the time, effort, and sacrifice that went into making it happen. This is especially true in relationships, where one person may be giving everything they have, only to end up feeling unseen or unappreciated.
Why Effort Matters
When you work hard for something—whether it’s a career achievement, a personal goal, or even a relationship—you value it deeply. You understand the hours, the sacrifices, the moments of doubt, and the persistence required to achieve it. This appreciation often doesn’t translate when things are handed to someone else, especially if they haven’t invested in the same way. When people don’t have to work for something, they don’t always grasp its true worth, leading to a disconnect in how they value and treat it.
This doesn’t mean you should stop being a generous or giving person. However, it’s important to set boundaries and to recognize when your kindness and sacrifices aren’t being valued. Sometimes, giving too much can create an imbalance that leaves you drained and disappointed.
Learning to Value Yourself
If you find yourself in a situation where you’re giving endlessly but receiving little in return, it’s time to reflect on your own needs and boundaries. Self-respect means understanding your own worth and recognizing that your efforts, time, and energy are valuable. When you learn to value yourself, you begin to expect that same respect and appreciation from others.
Balance in Relationships
A healthy relationship is about mutual effort, not one-sided sacrifice. Both people should be willing to invest, compromise, and work towards a shared happiness. When both partners contribute to the relationship, they both appreciate the work that’s gone into it. They understand the efforts made, and they’re less likely to take each other for granted.
Moving Forward with Awareness
While it’s natural to want to give, be mindful of whether you’re getting the same energy in return. When you’re in relationships where your efforts aren’t reciprocated or valued, it’s worth considering whether that dynamic truly serves you. Understanding that not everyone will appreciate what you offer doesn’t make you bitter; it simply makes you wise. Love and generosity are beautiful, but when balanced with self-awareness, they become even more powerful.